The Permission to Fail
I tried something new the other day… and it absolutely flopped.
Look at that.
I feel like we only hear about failures whenever a success is attached to them, but what about failures that stand alone? That don’t have an uplifting part to them and it’s just the failure on its own.
I want to see more of those. And I want to see what people do when it’s just that.
When self-help books don’t work, and they feel like they actually wish they didn’t try in the first place.
Maybe I’m being a bit dramatic and letting my emotions get a hold of me… but I felt like that yesterday.
And it sucked.
One of things that kept me sane was remembering that there are moments when I feel on top of the world… and there are moments when I feel like the earth’s scum. But in all of those moments, good or bad, God still loves me the same.
And that brings me so much comfort.
Because I can trust that the only opinion in the world that truly matters, doesn’t fluctuate with my successes or failures. My worth to Him, isn’t based off of if I win or if I lose. It’s based off of His love for me, which is unchanging, regardless if I do right or do wrong.
And that’s a dichotomy that is both incredible and incredulous at the same time.
Tristan shared with me that if I plan to start anything for myself, that I would have to learn how to separate my worth from my business.
And that if I allow the wins and losses of my business to dictate my worth, then it will permeate and effect everything in my life: my daily moods, our future marriage, how I treat my future children, my relationship with my future employees, how I feel about myself, and my relationship with God.
And he’s so right.
So, somehow, in this short life, I have to learn to trust God, still give it my all, but not let it define my worth.
Tricky. And I have a long way to go. But it makes me feel so much better knowing that I have permission to be happy even if things may not be going as planned.
When Tristan told me that, something clicked and it felt like a release of some sort.
Like I was finally able to forgive myself for not being 100% on top of it all the time. Like I had grace for me to still operate out of joy even though my circumstances are telling me that I suck.
And the answer was just suddenly so clear: what I do is not who I am.
Which is so strikingly different than hustle culture, and society that has trained us to feel like we’re not anything until we get a certain promotion, hit a certain income amount, have a certain net worth, have a certain amount of followers, have a certain number of views on your website, be making a certain amount every month.
But as important as each one of those things may feel in the moment, they don’t define you. They don’t define me. And the sooner that we understand that, the sooner we get to live in the freedom of God’s love.
The permission to fail and still be okay. The permission for our worth to not be attached to something that fluctuates with no end.
And that ladies and gentleman, is true power.
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For When You face trials
Nehemiah 8:10
Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.
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