I had a terrible day today.

No like seriously, it really sucked.

And I'm pretty sure being this transparent is against the blogging code.

Sometimes I feel as if there's a secret commandment that says "thou shall never reveal when they are not having a fabulous time unless thou has already been through the time and can write a fun blog post about it with perfect photos."

Because it seems like every time I am on my instagram feed, all I see are beautiful bloggers laughing and shopping and brunching and being so cute and fashionable and NOT having bad days and it really makes me wonder if they're living that life 24/7.

Which I know they're not. 

Especially after going to a blogger style summit this past weekend and meeting successful bloggers who told me despite my un-belief, that your problems don't go away when you reach more than 12k followers on instagram. 

Which was a bit disappointing to hear, because I was really looking forward to stress-free living.

So that brings me to my next question:

If you can still have sucky days no matter how popular you are, then why does it look like nobody is having them?

I mean, I don't expect to see pictures of people sobbing in their beds, but it's so interesting how everyone loves to scream "I'm authentic and transparent" and then literally look happy 100% of the time. 

INCLUDING ME.

Take today for instance.

Mother Nature reared her ugly head this past weekend (uninvited, I may add) and I've had a terrible migraine for the past 12 hours. 

For those of you that are thinking "why is she crying, it's just a headache", there's a small red "X" on the top left of your screen.

Click it.

You are no longer invited to read any more of my blog post.

Now for my true understanding bumble-bees who I love and adore, if you don't know the difference between a headache and a migraine, I'll break it down for you simply:

Headaches: You don't want to die

Migraines: you do :-)

There we go.

My migraine ended up being so bad that I actually had to spend my lunch break sleeping in my car to function, and then spent an hour sleeping in my car after work so I wouldn't have to sit in traffic with my head booming and my stomach lurching to puke.

Which was all useless because I ended up spending an hour in traffic regardless. 

Then I got home and made spaghetti I couldn't even eat because I was in so much pain and then groggily fell asleep on my couch.

Which is so terrible because that whole thing is so not me. 

I love being out and about and having fun and creating my own adventures.

Yet, despite me feeling like I was about to die every 30 seconds - what I decided to put on instagram was completely opposite.

 Aw!!!! Look at how happy and excited I look! When in reality this was me:

Barely hanging in there tbh. And that was only at 1pm.

And here's what I realized in this treacherous day: everyone wants their followers/subbies to understand that they're still an authentic human being at heart with genuine emotions (including the negative ones) but they also still have a brand and perception to keep up with.

So I'm letting you guys know right now, that I do have a brand to keep up with: a creative girl boss conquering the corporate world (and other life after college adventures)

but I also am just me.

A normal 22 year old who just graduated college and is definitely getting use to working full-time year round.

I'm terrible at picking up my phone.

Even worse at texting. 

I currently live on my friend's couch. 

I also live with a cat. 

I shop way too much and cry a lot.

I eat at Torchy's every other week. 

And sometimes I have really bad days.

 And I just wanted to share with you that not everything is how it seems.

And that's also why I'm not ready to be famous. 

Not like my 213 followers were going to bring me ultimate fame tomorrow, but after going to Create & Cultivate (which was really good btw, I def need to post about it) and seeing all of those girls look so put together and perfect I started talking to God like "yeah...... i'm not sure I'm ready for this whole fame thing. So this can really be on your time."

Nonetheless, I really like being vulnerable with you all and I'm going to keep giving yall that energy and hope for the same in return.

That being said, I'm going to continue living my life - bad days and all.

And no matter how big I get I promise to never stop looking disheveled when I go to Walmart.

Except maybe I'll put some lipgloss on.

But that's it.

Love y'all,

- Your Corporate Peasant

---------

Psalm 46:1-3

“God is our refuge and our strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.”