I haven't posted on Instagram all week and it feels so good to take a break.

At first I felt really guilty. Like I was a bad content creator continually neglecting my blogger duties. But every time I logged into my planning app to create a caption and post, I just wasn't feeling it. I didn't like what I had planned and realized that me forcing a post would be super inauthentic.

There's no way I'm ever going to put out content I don't like. Even for the sake of "staying consistent". So I skipped Monday. And Monday turned into Wednesday. And before I knew it, it was the end of the posting week and I had zilch to show for it.

Except my peace of mind and my clarity and this new realization: Sometimes I take myself too seriously.

And not in the productive type of way. Not in the, "let's get this done" type of way.  No, the type of "too seriously" where I get stuck in my own head and don't allow myself to freely create. Normally when that happens, I'm launched into a cycle of creating and hoarding, creating and hoarding and then just eventually letting time pass and letting the things I create wither away. 

I caught it early. And gave myself time to breathe and rest and relax.

I also allowed myself to get vulnerable on my Instagram stories. Nothing serious. I just threw a bunch of boomerangs and pics together to tell you guys that I was okay, just having a sad week and a hard time staying motivated to blog.

I wasn't expecting much response, to be honest. I actually considered deleting it. 

I thought to myself: Nobody's gonna care that you don't feel like blogging.

and

Even if they did care, you're just going to look like you're whining or begging for some sympathetic attention. 

But I shrugged my shoulders and left it up regardless.

And to my surprise, you guys actually responded. 

It was so touching, really. To hear your "i've been there"s and words of wisdom. In a world where it seems like everyone is always on their grind, it's so nice to know that literally other people get in these same moods. Other people also get discouraged. Other people also sometimes forget their "why". 

I feel like this has been consistent theme since my blogging journey started. When I try really hard to make a perfect piece of content, they do okay. But the things I barely give much thought to, that are just raw forms of me, seem to blow up. And I'm seriously sitting here just confused.

And maybe that's God showing me that He can use my brokenness and my imperfections and my not-together-ness to create something beautiful. And if that's the case, I'm totally here for it.

I'm here for both the edited moments and the unedited ones. For the posed and raw. For the whole and the broken. 

I think that's what makes Corporate Queendom so special. It's a mish-mash mess of all things that create me.

It's the refined beginnings of a blossoming career with the rough edges of a girl figuring out the adult world. It's the art of meal prepping and choosing to go to Chipotle anyway. It's admiring both Vogue and Forbes 30 Under 30.

It's binging on online magazines and losing yourself in Target. It's thinking about buying your first house but also still being afraid to go to the doctor by yourself. It's liking your job but still being excited for what the weekend will bring.

It's loving the idea of happy hours but also the freedom to drive straight home. It's moving from Moscotos to wines you forget the names of and from college-like town homes to one bedroom apartments. It's not wincing when you spend a $100 but also being able to live off of only $11. It's taking moments to yourself to just be and experience and live.

And it's taking time to share those thoughts and memories with someone who might need it one day. 

So thank you to everyone who has been on this journey with me, thus far. For the late night binge reads or just casual glances in between tasks. For the sweet messages and even sweeter thoughts. For the feedback and the texts and emails. For the comments and insta-love.

It's been rough, this week was very much needed, but I'm not stopping anytime soon.

The rest is still unwritten.

Much love,

The Corporate Queen

---

Matthew 11:28

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

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